Cap'n Crunch

(From the Blind Observer)
SAN DIEGO, CA - Cap'n Crunch died Sept. 28 in the Retired Cartoon Seaman's Home here, where Captain Hook and Popeye also spent their last days.

Though Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch never held a military commission, he did have a seagoing background, having captained his ship, The Guppy, over many a cartoon sea since 1963.

His character, a gay 1800-era British sea captain, was widely thought to be the model for Johnny Depp’s acclaimed performance as Captain Jack Sparrow in Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean.

After Middleman Media retired his bobble-head doll in 1996, Cap’n Crunch saw the writing on the wall, and retired to the Cartoon Seaman’s Home, where he frequently derided the other residents as mere “Corporate Mascots.”